5 tails

The sorry state of fate.

I am hated….

For me such is fated

Time is my slave,

Expectation an ally.

With emotions I jest

Those of the faith say I’m a test

I cant be lost, nor can be found…

Ever Chained to the soul

Without making the slightest sound

Those looking for an escape will find none

To me things r told…

… I just have to get them done

what are men, but toys

I AM SORROW, I AM JOYS

Justice, bias; good ,evil

Man’s only deed is answering my heed

I do not punish,

Punishment, however, comes through me

As pitiful as it is…

The shell pays for what it’s essence was!

There is no escape…

There is no escape…

There is no escape.

For I am FATE!...and ready for all your hate!

Lusting for love

it wasn’t the first time that I’d tried….

The end was still the same… coz I cried…

Cried ...

Cried ,for I’d lost all pride.

Lusted, I had lusted all along…

For someone…anyone…

I was so forlorn

What is love…but lust

Lust for belonging…

To end all loneliness

It is but a game…

Played by hurting someone…

Then making fun of the same.

Losing all pride…

Then trying to live through shame

It rains…

Harder than ever before.

Raining…

Amongst this chaos…

I tried…

I Burnt…

Sometimes even wished I’d died.

The angst

The fury…

All futile.

I wish to set the world on fire…

Probably burn in the flames of my own pyre

People live…

Then again, they die…

For the sake of love they all try to make it by…

Fools!

In books,

in songs,

then again in movies,

they talk of love…

fucked up phonies!

They fill your head with lies

A false promise of paradise!

They say it’s sunshine…

Only for a while,

Cause it certainly fades away with the passage of time.

After a while it’s just you…

Empty beer cans,

Pen,

Paper,

And a broken rhyme…

young and stupid

excuses, lies and follies….

All for the sake of experiencing the jollies

What are we to say

Then again what are we to do?

We are the young!

The young and the stupid!

Beg, borrow…

If that don’t work…

We steal!

Shame, remorse…

Now that’s what we don’t feel!

Its our time…

Its our chance to fly!

Why ,then should we fall in love?

big boys we are….

And don’t you know? they don’t cry!

young and stupid…

that’s what we be!

Like our fathers we would never be!

Steady… steady…

Hold your ground!

Another shot, bottle and finally

Another keg…

Welcome the blackout!

Adrenaline pumpin high

All we want is to reach for the sky

With conscience empty

Heads full of dreams…

But the inevitable happens!

Time passes…

Years flee…

In the mirror…

It’s an old man I see

The pain!

The agony!

If only they could hear you scream!

So much for the ‘we’…

Broken, beat and scarred…

All that is left is me…

The mistakes of the glorious past

Still haunting me!

Looking back…

What can I say,

What were we but young and stoopid!

Conversations with the Reaper

Wake up!
Huh!
Wake up!
Who?

Waves in my head…
Sand in my mouth,
The beach , it seems , was my bed…

Darkness peeped into my eyes
Hazy vision of a boat at the pier…
Head thumping in heart’s stead…
My legs weren’t mine….
But by now vision seemed to be getting fine…

On a beach I was indeed
It was different….
Didn’t seem like a place , to which, I’d ever been
The vessel showed signs of life…
Lanterns lit under the starry sky
Fumbling onwards… I made towards the pier…

Signs of life indeed…
On the deck I saw the one no one would ever like to see!!
The one no living man can be…
Alive death… the reaper sat there at peace…
Sipping at a cup of hot tea
I was bout to flee…
To late…
With the bony fingers it motioned to me!!

“sit down”
“would you like some tea?”
tea?...yeah tea…fuck tea
you are death! Am I dead??
“dead? Not quite?....”
“though I can say you have never been alive”
“don’t worry… it’s not your time yet”

I sat…
Believe him I did…
Though I had not the faintest idea of what was going on
What choice had I ?... but to trust death…
All our life , nothing has been certain…
‘tis only the end that is….
Ironical as it is….
Death didn’t seem half as cold as they told…

Earl grey,
Chocolate muffins,
Pineapple gateaux,
…..
A rusty iron scythe…
Glittering in the moonlight…
Singing the solemn song of its deeds…
All was at peace…
Goes without saying I felt a little teased.

“calm down… feel at ease
and are u sure you don’t want to try these…”
silently I picked up a muffin…
“let me tell you… in death there is peace…
it is simple… forgiving… loving… liberating”
“unlike life, so complicated…chaotic”
“you run around with meaningless activities …
collecting perishables…trying to thrive…
overlooking the fact that that all is vain…
and then men say that death is the real pain!”

this was unlike anything I’d ever heard…
as much as I tried..
it made more sense than anything ever had…
flashback: more sorrows than joys…
senseless antics of a lifetime…
sensible death!
I felt like I had nothing to dread…

Sudden realization though…
You told me that I’m not dead…
And I’d never been alive
What then of all these years that I’ve cried…
Hearing this the reaper said nothing… just sighed
“you could have lived… but you never did try…
all you ever did was weep and cry.
Life was your chance to live…
You should’ve lived without the wavering thoughts you give!”
“live full … only then can you die empty…
else, regrets and remorse fill you fully”

I nod…
I will change… it’s not every day you get this chance
Even through sorrow I shall dance
You said it wasn’t my time to die…
From now on I’ll live, not live as I’ve died!
He sighs…
Looks at the sky…
Then his watch…
Grips his faithful scythe,
“unfortunately my friend…for you, it’s finally time…”
…
… …..!!!